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Kurs: -- English - Intermediate Materijali vezani uz ovu lekciju: - Test qualities of a good friend - Test qualities of a good friend - Qualities Of a Good Friend (PDF dokument) The old saying is true: good friends are hard to find. It can be hard to not only maintain friendships but also to determine if a friendship is a healthy one. There are many qualities of a good friend to consider, and the following are just a few you should consider when spending time with old friends and making new ones. Be real. Are you trying to be friends with someone to be accepted into a certain clique, or because you'd like to get to know someone else that he or she knows? Every new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her own merits, it's better to just be yourself than let anyone else influence you into being someone you are not. Remember, it's better to be hated for who you are, than to be liked for who you aren't. Actors are very easy to see through. Stop acting, start being yourself. Be honest. A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends. Keep your promises; do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly, don't lie! Lying is when you say "Okay, I will...", but you never do: people will eventually figure you out. People aren't stupid! Don't underestimate your friends. You'll stay without them and it will be a great loss. Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, don't talk about it to anyone else. Don't discuss your friend behind his/her back except when it involves the other person, and you won't just make it worse. Nobody likes a gossip or backstabber. But, you can't play both sides of a game or of the fence. Agree with one or the other not with both sides! But don't accuse either one without a real reason. Always think through carefully before any actions. Don't regret after. Be respectful. Things you and your friend discuss should be treated with care. Your friend is not sharing this information with just anyone, and may not want to. She or he shared it with you, and only you, as far as you know. If you are asked not to tell, stay consistent and don't share the information. Pitch in for friends during times of crisis. If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags, if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick him/her up, be there. Don't make any excuses if you really don't have the real ones. If your friend is going through a crisis, don't say: "Everything is going to be all right." if it's not going to be. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive. Even a stranger would appreciate a sincere word or possibly a gesture of a "quick" hug, or a hand rubbed across the back for just "a moment," but don't overdo it. It can be misinterpreted. You never know how somebody will react. Being moderate is always the best choice. Give advice, add perspective. Don't judge your friend, but do advise to stay out of dangerous situations where one may harm oneself or others. Tell him/her how you perceive his/her situation, and what you might do in the same circumstances. Avoid saying "You should...". That may feel like you are imposing "shoulds" upon your friend. You will probably sound like his or her mother. Nobody likes that. Give your friend space. Understand if he/she wants to be alone or hang out with other people. Allow it to happen. Don't become obsessive, clingy or needy. Friendship doesn't require that you always have to be paired together. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room. Don't be selfish. Grabbing, stealing, envying and/or begging are big No's in the rules of friendship. The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually move towards more selfless people. Bear that in mind. Don't expect, demand or abuse generosity or "wear out your welcome." When your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate quickly. Money isn't, or doesn't have to be, an issue. Surprise your friend when he or she least expects it. Don't compare labels, prices, size and value. Don't let your friend pay every time you go out, even if it's offered. Go home when it seems like the time is right, don't be like furniture. Reach for the doorknob and say "Bye." turn the knob, leave... No one wants to be friends with a moocher or to feel used. If you borrow something from a friend, take good care of it and then return it without being asked. Don't use that awful phrase: "Oh, I'll bring it tomorrow" and you never do that. A good friend never does that.
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